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The Headline

Coming Soon: The Voyage Through The Blighted Isles: Part Two!

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In Memoriam

Fan Works

From Sighfrid’s Easel

Interview

V&H Player: Metilamina

Contest

The Winners of the Grinchta’s Christmas Community Story Project, and The Story!

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GRINCHTA’S CHRISTMAS CAROL: A VILLAGERS & HEROES COMMUNITY PROJECT

Written By: Queeny, Majenta, Avenian, Snow, Puzzler, Selia, IrishElf, Louanna, Red Wizard, Feljay, Catona, Deadliez, NightWalkerTester, Wait, Layla Littlenymph, Omnigmaprime, Myst, Kaydee, ScarletTester, and RedEye.

It was a cold, clear morning when Grinchta left his tent and stumbled upon a bright red package with a fancy green ribbon. He picked it up and peeked around to see if anyone was still there. He looked at it curiously, then gave it a tentative shake. Grinchta noticed a shiny Christmas label on the curious package that read, “To: Damon From: Santa.”

Whilst mumbling that he doesn’t know any ”Damon,” he snatched the shiny Christmas label from the package. He put the package to his ear and listened closely. He could hear a tiny voice coming from the inside of the package. The sound gave him a strange unknown feeling in the whole body. “Could this be… empathy?” He shrugged in disgust.

He straightened out the crumpled shiny label, licked it and stuck it back on the package and tossed it aside. It landed under the Christmas tree nearby. Suddenly, a terrifying scream came from the box: “AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGG!” But he ignored it and realized he was hungry so left the area to make a sandwich. Even though the sandwich was delicious, he kept thinking about this loud gift under the tree. He didn’t take time for desert because he thought the gift may actually have something deliciously sweet to eat inside . . . hummm.

He approached the box with a sharp knife in hand. When he got near the box, slipped, fell and stabbed his own foot. The bleeding was uncontrollable. Then the little gift popped open, and a brilliant flash of green light came out! “Help me!” Grinchta yelled into the green light.

The green light stopped swirling and was finally still, you could see it was a tiny pointy eared character all dressed in green and red standing there with a concerned look on its face. “Damon,” he asked? “Could that be you Damon,” the little elf said while wrapping the green ribbon around Grinchta’s foot. Grinchta couldn’t say or do anything, he was totally mesmerized by the sight of that little elf.

Hmmm, he wondered most wonderfully, “How would this elf taste dipped in egg nog or baked in fruit cake?” He went inside his tent to fetch some eggs to cook the elf with. But the elf had other plans. He quietly crept to the back of the tent and slipped inside unnoticed. The elf look around in the tent to see where he could hide when he suddenly noticed the Christmas present was still in the tent and very quietly jumped into the package and reached for the lid when suddenly …there was a loud noise, thump, and a whimper like the elf had never heard before.

One of Grinchta’s minions grabbed him by the throat. His last thought was: why is he attacking me, he looks just like me (the minion that grabbed him was an angry Christmas elf!) With the good elf out of the way, the angry Christmas elf hid in the box. Grinchta happily stomped over to the box while balancing two eggs in each hand when suddenly he tripped.

“Oof!” he said, and watched his eggs roll all the way over to the box. An ever so slight ‘tink’ sound was heard and Grinchta saw one egg begin to ooze out on the floor and under the box followed by a strange voice that said, “whaaaa”!? Grinchta got up, shook the snow off him and went over to inspect the ooze, tasting some a bit.

Suddenly the angry elf jumped from the box and began running around smashing everything in sight; Grinchta was shocked and most certainly not amused so he puffed out his chest, scratched his head and thought of what to do because this elf wasn’t the one he put in there, he was certain of it! Grinchta began running after the angry elf which soon became a game of cat and mouse.

began running after the angry elf which soon became a game of cat and mouse.
Meanwhile, inside the box, you could hear something moaning…as the friendly elf began to awaken. The elf started singing Elvis tunes to anyone within hearing. The singing enraged Grinchta so much he bellowed at the top of his lungs “Stop that singing!” and smashed his fist into the table. The enraged Grinchta only made the Elf giggle and she ran and hid while continuing to sing Elvis songs.

Little elf sings, “I’ll have a blue…blue…Christmas without you.” The Elf next taunts Grinchta with Jailhouse rock. The Grinchta freezes, the Christmas tree and all around now looked blue, and Grintchta could not understand how that little elf knew that blue was his favorite color! But now Grinchta feared he’d be wearing blue in jail for chasing the Elf.

Grinchta turns and looks at the floor near the tent opening and sees two elves standing there, side by side, and wonders if he’s seeing double. “Ok, which one of you two is the evil twin?” he asked, puzzled. Little did Grinchta know they were actually triplets, and while these two kept him occupied, the third elf was sneaking some of the stolen presents away from Grinchta’s collection.

This third clever elf, named, “Clept Toes,” knew some hiding places that the other elves did not know about, because he had been stealing other things from Grinchta to hide in those secret places, too. The two elves looked at each other and then at Grinchta multiple times, not saying a word.

Once all the presents Grinchta had stolen had been retrieved, Clept Toes let out the secret bird whistle (to the tune of Santa Claus is back in Town) to let his brothers know the job was finished. Whilst all this was happening inside the tent, outside were weird things happening too: A storm was brewing outside, but not the kind of storm anyone in the tent had ever seen before.

Grinchta pushed the two elves out of the way and plodded outside to see what this new commotion was. He was flabbergasted to see it was literally raining cats and dogs, with an otter or two for good measure. Then suddenly he saw two white lights and he could also hear tiny bells, the laughter of voices and even singing.

But, he was mistaken, for as he drew nearer to the lights, he saw they were red, not white and upon further inspection, they were attached to the noses of two disgruntled looking reindeer before him. The Reindeer snorted and looked around as they heard a voice coming from the red glow.

“We have come for you Grinchta!” said Rudolph, as he stood beside his imposingly large father Randolph, both of which could immediately tell they had come to the right place, as even now, Grinchta was wearing Santa’s pants, Santa himself having fallen victim of their merciless attacker. Rudolph’s words had no effect on Grinchta though, as he was too busy staring with confusion at the sack moving behind the reindeer; usually full of presents it was currently filled with Santa himself, who had taken refuge in the sack to hide his cold, pantless legs! “Ooof! Ugh!” Grinchta cried out as Randolph and Rudolph tackled him to the ground.

Santa hopped forward in the sack and began trying to wrestle his stolen pants off of Grinchta’s hairy legs while he was pinned down by the brave reindeer duo. But, as Grinchna was nobody’s fool, and had been taken by surprise, he always had a backup plan for occasions just such as this.

“Someone bring me a keyboard,” screamed Santa as he tugged at the pants. “I’m not at all sure I like where this plot twist is heading!” Santa tried to type but got confused and gave the keyboard to Mrs. Santa. Mrs Santa typed out, “LOL”, but then realized she was in the wrong chat channel so she quickly typed, “wc.”

She blamed Red for her wc. Santa realized that he wouldn’t be able to wear his pants again after Grinchta had them on, so he found another pair in his sleigh he had been saving for a special gift. Santa quickly wriggled into his spare pants then laughed a hearty “ho-ho-ho” as he handed Mrs. Santa the wc jar.
While Santa was putting on his “special gift” pants, Grinchta squirmed away from the reindeer and ran into the woods leaving the reindeer, Santa, Mrs. Santa, and the elves (yes all three of them) standing there wondering what just happened!

Rudolph moved away from a large steaming pile and said, “Sorry.” One of the elves walked over to the pile and said “hmm looks like dog sh. . .” and was suddenly interrupted by a smack from Mrs. Clause who said, “Don’t even go there!”

Meanwhile, deep in the woods, the normal silence was interrupted by the cracking of branches as Grinchta charged between the trees, ending in a large thud as he ran head-first into a low hanging branch. And then suddenly everything went silent. Later…much later, Grinchta awoke and shook all over feeling nothing but the pounding in his head.

Rubbing his head gingerly, the ringing in his ears slowly subsided and he could hear the giggling of Christmas faeries from the treetops above him. As Grinchta sat there nursing his wounds and wounded pride, and listening to the incessant fairies he noticed it had started to snow big giant snowflakes.

But the snowflakes were not falling from the sky, they were coming from the faerie of cheer, who was now hovering above Grinchta’s bruised head. The fairie of cheer seemed intent on burying Grinchta in the giant snowflakes. But Grinchta had put up with quite enough at this point. Grinchta stood up and let out a loud yell: “GERONIMOOooooo!” He climbed to the top of the Christmas tree and lept off. For a split second, on the way down he wondered about the life, universe, everything…

For some reason the number “42” floated through his head for a second, but moments later all thoughts were replaced with “ow” as he landed on his head in the exact same place the tree branch had hit him earlier!

Meanwhile, Frosty the snowglobe maker had been watching this whole scene unfold. He grabbed two handfuls of clay and quickly began to form a model of Grinchta in his crumpled heap, wanting to capture this moment to place in his next snowglobe. The outcome was not good, at all. For in his haste, Frosty had not grabbed handfuls of clay, but two handfuls of mashed potato from his dinner plate. And being half-blind he’d mistakenly used the gravy as snow.

Sighing at his missed opportunity as Grinchta stumbled off in a daze, Frosty licked his fingers and finished his now-slightly-Grinchta-shaped dinner. Santa shook his head and turned away from his Naughty or Nice screen unhappy with how Grinchta has been treating the residents of his Lair. Then quick as a wink Santa had a marvelous idea!

So Santa took out his trusty pencil and magic tablet and began to write. But Santa’s writing was instantly interrupted by a pop-up ad on the tablet for a brand new game called Flappy Otter and try as he might, he could not fight the temptation to play it! He settled into his favorite chair, a glass of eggnog and plate of cookies at his side, and happily played Flappy Otter until the wee hours of the morning.

Wait, Santa is supposed to make games, not play them! Santa played so long that he started to nod off. After being awoken by an angry villager scolding him (who has been put on his naughty list) Santa went back to enjoying Floppy Otter. Pausing momentarily to wonder why they changed the name of the game from Flappy to Floppy while he was asleep, Santa decided that the villager was probably right to admonish him for such laziness during the busiest time of the year, and so he headed back to the toy workshop.

Santa stood there in the doorway trying to remember what he’d been doing; it seemed like it was something important! He headed to the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee. He enjoyed the flappy floppy Otter game so much he grabbed the tablet on the way out the door.

But instead of playing that game, he opened paint and started to draw, which resulted in 4 different presents: a toy soldier, a train set, a dollhouse and a chemistry set. Finally, he noticed after what seemed to be hours, the coffee had finished brewing. But before he could take a sip, the Head Elf ran up to him in a panic to tell him that Krampus Kringle seems to have escaped from his lair and might be roaming around in Ardent!

With visions of coffee beans dancing around, the cup he was holding fell to the ground. Santa wondered what could go wrong next, and, as if on cue, the Head Elf continued with the bad news that Krampus also seems to have learned a thing or two from Grinchta before his escape and has somehow managed to steal the presents out of everybody’s advent calendars for the last few days.

While Santa was being briefed by the head elf, one of the other elves cleaned up the spilled coffee and brought Santa a fresh cup of hot chocolate. But Santa knew that hot chocolate wasn’t going to fix this dire situation; he knew he had to come up with a plan, “but what!?” he stewed as Mrs. Clause gave him a pat on the shoulder.

It was then that Santa noticed one of the elves looked very strange, much taller than usual, and then he realized it was Grinchta in an elf costume, for the multiple bumps on his head earlier in the day had caused amnesia in the great brute and some quick thinking elves had persuaded him that he was one of their workshop colleagues.

While in another location, we know not where, Krampus watched as Santa was occupied, the dark elves feuded, and what is this, the tent on Grinchta’s mountaintop has been deserted… and thus an evil plan began to form. As it turned out, Krampus was not the best when it came to choosing a secret location to spy from, and the elves began to wonder why he was crouching behind a small shrubbery not more than 20 feet away, cackling to himself quietly.

Not only Krampus isn’t very smart, because I can see the white hood of the Sugar Plum King moving behind Krampus. As Mrs Clause was reminding Santa that all good girls and boys of a magical land know that the spirit of Christmas is in the giving and not receiving a loud explosion was heard in the Grinchta lair! Having set off fireworks as a distraction, one of the elves moved quickly towards Santa to inform him of their not-so-stealthy spies and Santa began to form a plan that would put the temporarily good Grinchta to good use.

Luckily the Head Elf had seen Sugar Plum too, and know it is a wizard, he very very quietly whispered into Santa’s ears: careful what you say, there is a wizard who can see all. Santa wrote a note detailing his plan and handed it to the Head Elf to spread the word to the rest of the workshop, instructing them to casually clear a path between Grinchta and the two barely-hidden spies.

But unfortunately, someone didn’t clean up properly the spilled coffee, so he slipped, the note fell and…chaos ensued. But only for a moment, since Santa made copies of the note with the super secret plan. But, unbenounced to those in Ardent town, Krumpus was heading directly toward them, with the sugar plum king, missile toe (the meanest of all) and jingle ding all in tow, all of which he had sprung himself after making his daring escape.

There was tension in the air, people of Ardent hid in tent and under bridges. But Santa and all his elves stood in front of the portal, trying to prevent the evil ones to go to Ardent. Of course going through the portal takes a while, when a whole band tries to get through it, so after few minutes everyone sat down and started to think about snacks before the confrontation.

Suddenly a bright light surrounded Santa and his elves and the evil followers of Grinchta were hurled backward deep into the Grinchta lair; it was … Sara Otter!!! Who just happens to be Sarah Otter’s evil twin! But as the twin had just restored order to Ardent and saved the elves, Santa wondered if he may have mixed them up on the naughty/nice list and hurriedly started an audit of Sarah Otter’s profile! It turns out, Sara’s profile had been hi-jacked, by a disgruntled elvin-archers group that had placed a malicious virus on their site in which she had recently visited: Old Obscure Movies No One Will Ever Guess.

Santa muttered to himself that Sarah should probably install a snowwall (much cooler than a firewall) to counter-attack future hi-jacking attempts and decided her and her twin probably both deserved gifts this year. Unfortunately, the whole situation could have been avoided, if only those poor poor archers were allowed to play as extras in the event zone, opposite Missile Toe.

Meanwhile, behind the bush, the plotters continue to plan their next move. But wait, that’s no bush, it’s a fungasite that had been asleep long enough to become covered in moss!

Then something strange happened as the cool winter air hit the fungasite, for millions of tiny spores shot off of the mold that encased it and all that were near began to laugh uncontrollably.

THE END

The Sneaky Scribbler

Last Tuesday in Ardent this hapless toon had to be rushed to the hospital to have his sickle removed from his face. He was sent to the Master Gatherer in Ethos to gain a bit more experience.

Royal Guardians

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